Z E E R 0 W

The Sunken Temple Incident

When the Chaos Bolt Brewing Company ventured into the Sunken Temple, Zeerow was noticeably hesitant. "I don't think this is a just war," he remarked in guild chat, to the confusion of his teammates. "The trolls are just trying to worship their loa in peace. They're people too."

Despite his moral objections, Zeerow reluctantly participated in what he later described as "cultural genocide." He refused to loot any troll artifacts, calling them "sacred cultural items that belong in a troll museum." His DPS during this dungeon was notably lower, which he attributed to his "crisis of conscience" and "refusing to give 100% to an unjust cause."

This compassionate stance earned him the nickname "Troll Rights Activist" within the guild. To this day, Zeerow insists that history will vindicate him and his progressive stance on troll personhood. He has since started a petition to make the Hakkari trolls a playable allied race.

The Fires of Molten Core

Deep within the Molten Core, Zeerow faced Ragnaros the Firelord and mostly avoided standing in the lava. His DPS was charitably described as "middle of the pack" when the mages weren't paying attention. He did, however, excel at running out during Ragnaros' knockback, something the raid leader acknowledged with a surprised "huh, Zeerow didn't die that time."

The Dark Halls of Blackwing Lair

In Blackwing Lair, Zeerow demonstrated his remarkable ability to sometimes not pull threat from the tanks. During the Chromaggus encounter, he successfully remembered to equip the proper resistance gear after only two reminders from the raid leader.

On the Nefarian fight, when the warrior class call came, Zeerow proudly announced "That's me!" in Discord, to which someone replied "Yes, we know how classes work." His DPS during this encounter was described in the raid logs as "technically measurable."

The Terrors of Ahn'Qiraj

The ancient city of Ahn'Qiraj witnessed Zeerow's slightly above average performance against the Twin Emperors. While not topping the meters, he did manage to hit the correct emperor most of the time, which the raid leader noted was "better than last week."

During the C'Thun encounter, Zeerow was one of many warriors who got eaten and had to be rescued by more capable guild members. However, he did manage to use his engineering consumables at approximately the right time, causing someone to comment "at least he's trying."

The Dread Citadel Naxxramas

In the floating necropolis of Naxxramas, Zeerow achieved his career highlight of being the third-highest DPS warrior during one Patchwerk attempt. This achievement was immediately screenshot and shared in guild chat, where it was met with a chorus of "gratz" and "who asked?"

Heigan's dance proved challenging for Zeerow, who died to the poison waves more often than not. The raid leader eventually created a special "Zeerow countdown" to predict his inevitable demise, though on one notable occasion he survived long enough for it to be called "progress."

Against Kel'Thuzad himself, Zeerow's contribution was staying alive for approximately 73% of the encounter and using Battle Shout whenever it came off cooldown. The guild's official position was that his presence was "better than being down a player" and "technically not a net negative," both high praise for an aspiring Ashbringer wielder.